Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Dream, Marathon And Meditation


'Respect begets respect'. I experienced this during marathon training in a very different way. During training, my body and my mind became two separate entities supporting each other. My mind had dreamt of running full marathon (FM). But  until body too agreed with it I could not say 'I' want to run FM. And my body was skeptical, very very skeptical! So we made a deal - 'Let us try!' - if any one of us feels it enough, we will quit. Then started the training building up - step by step, minute after minute, mile on mile. We realised how much efforts and commitment each of us was putting in. When, anytime, body said that lets not run today, I am not feeling upto it. We respected. We had come to differentiate between lethargy and fatigue. We had come realise that lethargy has become thing of the past. After grueling hours of last week or for no reason at all, body may feel tired. I am much past the age when I could run couple of hours more after getting dead (I mean getting dead tired). So when body said no, it was No. Body reciprocated this respect with grace, During the final run when each and every muscle was tired, it still kept moving. It held all cramps waiting at doorsteps till I reached my hotel after the race.

It was new to me that I could stay off my scotch and desserts, and enjoy it too! I also owe it to all my kith and kin that they aligned all our get-togethers. Parties, late-nights to my training schedule. As the training progressed I started feeling lighter. Not that I had lost much weight but the feeling inside has changed. It was a satisfaction to try to live a dream, when many people felt I am past the age to dream. But the dream has seeped in every bit me. The 'why' was there and 'how' automatically followed. I did not need to push myself into training nor did I need to hold myself from overdoing. I respected my age, my health, my abilities - both in capacities and limitations.

Then came the day! Mumbai Marathon 2013. A beautiful route along the sea, cheering crowd, wonderful weather. I was actually doing what I had visualised so many times. Miles were building and I was steady. I reached half the distance. I felt that I have covered half the distance but have taken only one third of efforts. Two thirds are still remaining. But, fortunately now, the count down has started. 21, 20, 19,..,15,...  Remaining. Only one third distance remaining. My legs are going heavy and mind light. There were runners all around. Some surging ahead, some slowing down, some stopping to rest. I was reminded of the movie scenes from World War II. Allied soldiers all over - tired, ragged, hungery, injured - but still in high spirits. They knew that the was is theirs to win.

Distance remained is in single digit now. There are still people cheeing, there are still co-runners encouraging each other. But all this is getting hazy. All I am doing is talking to my legs. A muscle is feeling tired, shift the running posture. Another one feeling thirsty, drink in water. Each muscle is vocal and my mind is talking to each of them. Ok, ok, its time to take it easy. We have eased to walk-trot. After this rest muscles take charge and prod my mind. And so it goes on. Distance is getting covered. Step by step, literally step by step. I am in a movie scene being filmed by myself. Only my legs are in focus and a foot of road. Hard road. Some of my muscles have gone as taught. But they are still moving. I don’t know how much distance is remaining. I know its not long but it does not matter. We have to keep moving till the finish line. Oh, the camera now is focused more sharply. I can not feel whole step at a time. Its only movement. Lift, forward, forward, forward, down. This lifting is getting heavier and forward is getting longer. But thankfully stepping down is much much lighter now.   All of myself is completely focused on this movement - an inch, a millimeter. This and now, is what the world is. This and now is I !

Suddenly there is pat on my shoulder. I friend is running along. He is going to run the last mile with me. Oh my God, the LAST mile! And this dear friend running next to me. My eyes get wet. Tears reach my legs and magic happen. My legs have gone easy. I am running again.

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