All The Colours In Blue

Oh, my lovely dear
will you help me
see
all the colours in blue?

Oh, my lovely dear
can you help
me
see
all the colours in blue?

Oh, my lovely dear
can I ever
see
all the colours in blue?

My lovely dear
can I ever
see
all the colours in you?

Why Me

From million silent wanderings
into aloneness
when God threw me
into loving arms
I did not ask Him
"Why me?"

When a curtain of rain
opened suddenly
peacock danced his lovedance
only for my rain-wet soul
I did not ask Him
"Why me?"

Today like trillions trillions
bodies before me
I lye ailing and waiting for eventual
arm of time clock to come out and touch me
I ask Him wailing
"Why me?"

When He parted me into this world
I did not ask, "Why me?"
When He is welcoming me back
I do ask, "Why me?"
Such is love
Such is Maayaa

झॊका

पिसाच्या दोरीने
वारा देई झोका
झोक्याच्या वाऱ्याने
पतंग झाला माझा

माया आणि मोहिनी
झोका गेला आला
आसक्तिच्या वक्षावरून
पदर असा पडला

xxx Envy

"If a woman says she never had penis envy then probably she had never travelled in a bus for 12 hours with desperate need to pee", wrote a woman in an newspaper article. I can imagine her ordeal. Getting down from a bus on such a occasions I have thanked God for not making me a woman in India. Forget about 12 hours, I have the luxury of not waiting even for minutes.

I was travelling in a bus while reading this article. Reading it made me uncomfortable. I once again asked driver to stop the bus. Relieved, I returned to my seat, feeling comfortable. I started thinking. And the first thing my mind stumbled upon was irony. A gender, with its anatomy and type of dressing, can actually relieve with no exposure waits for hours to find a toilet, howmuch unclean or stinking. While the gender, with its anatomy and type of clothing he wears, goes about doing anywhere and howsoever he wants to.

So the problem obviously not in the lower part of body but somewhere in upper parts, in hearts and minds. Problem is not in the location of organs that developed in evolution, but the problem is in the way the 'evolved' human is perceiving those organs and those locations. Its not only genitals but whole perception of genders.

Lets look at the other side of this coin talk of pride instead of envy. Feeling envious for years and years hasn’t helped much, so why not try feeling proud! Its not enough that a woman here or a woman there feeling proud. Many many women need to feel pride in themselves, they need to come together help each to overcome anxiety and feel good with their own selves. Pride is not something that should be begged for but it’s a thing to be felt and proclaimed. They need to stand up and demand. Demand be it dignity, be it product or whatever. In today's world overflowing with technology and products and gadgets, women have not demanded a single product that would enable them to respond to nature's call in time and with privacy and dignity their present mind set-up requires. Not a single woman designer has found it worthwhile to design such a product, speaks for itself. It explains why envy and not pride.

Talking so much about what women feel and what they should feel, I should also be talking of what men feel. Maybe I will write about 'breast envy' or 'motherhood envy' and may also about 'breast pride' and 'motherhood pride'

Amen

'Hitchhiker's Game', 'Guide' and Games People Live

There is a wonderful story by Czech writer Milan Kundera in which a couple is driving. Journey is long and monotonous. To make it a little interesting, the girls thinks of a game. She would act as a hitchhiker and ask for a lift. And then they would continue like they are two strangers meeting for the first time this way. And the game starts. Both of them don't realize when they have stopped playing a game and the game has started playing with them. For reader it’s a journey through diverse, and often conflicting, human emotions. A drama of real life, temporarily called 'game'.

There was a very famous Hindi movie titled 'Guide'. In this the hero is jailed for a crime. After completing his jail term he is out free and wandering here and there without purpose. He wanders into a famine struck area. The village he walks into is facing total water scarcity and is looking into calamity. His attire, his demeanor make the village take him as some kind of Godman. They had given up all hope from earthly things and were feeling that only divine miracle could save them. He tries to convince them that he is no Godman, on the contrary he is a freed convict. But desperate villagers did not want to let go off their only ray of hope. Looking at their desperation, their absolute haplessness, he relents to act up as Godman. He had not realized that it would be a path of no return. From then on he was a mere pawn in the game that the fate was playing with him.

Keep away these dramatic examples. Unknowingly we give birth to so much of drama. Many a times it starts with noble intention, many times intentions are selfish or mean. Whatever be the intentions, as we start getting more and more engrossed, it becomes more and more difficult to differentiate whats in the game and whats out of it, what is life and what is just a game, who is playing and who is played. Master does not realise when he became slave of his mastery. That’s why Kahlil Gibran has warned freedom seekers to 'be free even from the thought of freedom', lest the thought itself will bind you. Unknowingly you may get enslaved by your obsession of freedom.


Lovely was the game I played
Enchanting was the game I played
Enthralling was the game I played
Enslaving was the game I played
Slave of my own self